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SEXUAL CALORIE COUNTER.

November 16th, 2007 by Melvin

Calling all Ladies and Gentlemen who wants to lose weight! Oh wait a minute, how can I leave this group of people out? Gays and Lesbians, who wants to lose weight without having beads of sweat trickling down on your dejected and tired face. Everyone wishes to lose weight without much exercising especially in a busy and urban city such as SINGAPORE.

Thus, I have the most sacred Sutra counter that lose weight while you LOVE doing it. This Sutra is ultra portable; print it, fold it, keep it on your pockets and bring it everywhere with you.

You can do it in toilets, offices or places that there is only 2 pairs of eyes (That’s it).

Click on the picture for an Enlarge version on the most energy releasing action! Don’t forget that the “Ooo”, “Ahhh” and other groaning does contribute in losing weight too!

PS: Check out the calories of “With your wife knocking on the door”. You lose much more your daily calories intake!

Posted in Knowledge, Funny, Sex | | 5 Comments

Pre-Marital Sex

June 24th, 2007 by Jonathan

Before I begin, I’d just like to say that The Bondevia Crew does not condone Pre-Marital Sex (PMS).

We have always been believers of freedom of expression, that I cannot deny. And we have to realise that Sex is a form of expression. You dare say no? Sex can be a form of expressing love to the other party, albeit there are many other ways to express that. Sex can also express how horny you are, yada yada. These are just examples to depict the point that sex is a form of expression and it would look as if we are contradicting ourselves when we say we do not encourage pre-marital sex.

But no.. We are not. If you are married and you have sex we wouldn’t say we are not encouraging you right? And No again, we are not very traditional and conservative people. Sex is fun, who would deny this fact but teenagers (statiscally they are the ones who perform PMS) need to realise that by practicing abstinence, you might actually be protecting your future. Sexual Transmitted Diseases aka STDs is not as contained as you think it is. Unless you can guarantee that the person you are having sex with is the person you are going to spend your entire life with, I wouldn’t argue with you. But as humans, we are curious by nature. Face it, we were all once monkeys (in the scientific point of view), we are very inquisitive creatures and yes we do get bored of things all the time.

The point I am trying to bring across here is that when you abstain from sex before you are married, chances of you contracting a life threatening STD like AIDS is significantly lower. You are young and you have plenty of years ahead of you so why throw it all down the drain? Sex can always come in the later part in life, when you’re more matured and when your sexual organs are all fully developed Don’t you think it would be more fun that way? Think about it, you’re 19 and you engage in sexual intercourse with a few people you meet in the club. You get an STD and your entire life is ruined. What happens if there’s a pregnancy involved? You’re going to let an innocent vermint contract the disease too?

I’m not saying that you wouldn’t contract STDs after you are married. There are some unfaithful douchebags out there sleeping around despite being married. But how many couples are like that? It’s only a minority. If both parties are clean, and they remain faithful to each other there is a near 99% guarantee of not contracting any STD. The other 1% is contracting the Disease non-sexually (through syringes, blood transfusion etc.)

Which brings me to another point, Unwanted Pregnancies. Who is going to take care fo the baby? Ok, I’ve heard of shot gun marriages and such. But what if you are only 15 years old? Please don’t tell me you will get married. At that tender age you will be confused and you wouldn’t know what to do. Girls will not know if they should abort the child or conceive it. If they choose to conceive the baby they face another dilemma, to give it up for adoption or to take care of it. And in situations like these it’s common to see the girls in a state of depression. As for the guys, you’ll get caned for having sex with a minor and you might try to run away from the responsibility. But who is to blame?

People always love to blame the guys in such situations. But come on, the girls also have a part to play, it takes 2 hands to clap, a sperm and an egg to make a baby. So guys! We have to protect ourselves too! Don’t have pre-marital sex or use a condom ~~(double layer if you have to).~~ Apparently I’ve learned that 2 layers of condom is dangerous, my bad!

Noticed I only wrote in a scientific and medical point of view. Religion definitely plays a part when it comes to PMS. BUT being a Atheist, I shall not touch on that matter. We care and we would really love to see the rate of STDs decreasing. IF you really need to have sex, please don’t be a commando, use a damn condom!

Your life is in your own hands, make the right choice. No one else can do it for you

Posted in Sex | | 7 Comments

Dammit, Tammy is a Legend!!

September 29th, 2006 by Jonathan

Just as I thought I wouldn’t be blogging about sex videos for a long time, I received word that there was actually another sex video circulating before the AMK ITE video.

This time is involves 2 SECONDARY SCHOOL kids. Goodness, what is becoming of Singaporean youth?
A little background info here. Both of them are english speaking, in fact according to forums the guy is actually ABC. Both are definitely below 18 years old. Could be 16 and they better be 16 else there’s goign to be a lot of trouble for that lad.

The video is too blur to determine if any protection was used, but I place my bets he actually went commando. What’s with kids and no protection?? I know, they probably assume that they’re not fertile.

If you are nice, I might tell you where to download the video. But bear this in mind, downloading pornography is illegal. But no body said watching is.

Posted in Tammy, Sex | | 8 Comments

Another Sad Tale of a Singapore Sex Video

September 28th, 2006 by Jonathan

The AMK ITE Video

Disclaimer: The author does not bear any responsibility for inaccurate information or content posted on this blog. All content are subjected to rumours and hear say by the general public. www.bondevia.blogspot.com does not distribute the video or anything related to the sex clip. Please do not request for it as the author does not possess the illegal material. The author is also entitled to delete any tags on the tag-board that is deemed to be inappropriate.

It’s the younger generation now that is most vulnerable to such activities. Sex without proper protection my little brothers and sisters, can lead to sexually transmitted diseases.

I’m not going to be a grandpa here and say hey you cannot have sex, I know its really hard to resist temptation sometimes (it is always better to resist though), but if you REALLY need to do it, USE PROTECTION. And also please be above 16? If you are under that, come on you are so not going to enjoy anything ok? The breast may not be fully developed, the penis could still need to get use to masturbation.

This AMK ITE video was in total commando style, 100% no protection at all. And the guy actually looks like a freaking butch? The girl is as hairy as a man. They really need a switch of hormones man, maybe they’re trans-gender!! Double A loves trans-gender people. Ah, it’s disgusting watching this 2 having sex. Really. And did I see the girl smelling his feet? Check this out.

See, she’s smelling his disgusting feet. And her breast are like chest muscles. I’m not going to say anymore.

I’ve received an email requesting to remove all entries regarding Malaysia Tammy because it is ruining the couple’s image and in reality they are actually decent and they love each other alot (I still doubt the decent part). I’ll remove it when the person who request for their removal contacts me again. But if anyone request for this AMK ITE entry to be removed because it’s ruining the couples image, I am not going to because they practically do not have an image to begin with?

Posted in Tammy, Sex | | 0 Comments

Changi AGAIN…

September 23rd, 2006 by Jonathan

Fret not, this entry has nothing to do with OLD CHANGI HOSPITAL. We know our readers are bored reading entries about Old Changi Hospital and anything related to it, we are bored of that place too. Really, really sick of it.

Note: We will still be willing to conduct tours for people at a minimum fee of SGD5.00 for a full building tour. Contact us if you are interested. Bring along a group of friends if you like. Wahahahah.

So this time around we decided to explore somewhere new, the abandoned Changi Commando Barracks. Rumours from my NS friends speaks of an evil there that drove Singapore’s Elite soldiers away. So how can we miss out on all the paranormal activity there, right?

Note: The above paragraph was how we felt before we visited the place. Sad to say Changi Commando Barracks feels the same as visiting Old Changi Hospital.

So I’ve decided to give you guys an insight to the World of the ‘Bapoks’ aka Transvestites.

Let’s begin the TRANNIES ATTACK!!!

Stop fantasizing if you are, ’cause those ‘women‘ in the above picture are actually men. Yes, as much as we (men) like to think of them as really hot women (from the back view) we still have to remind ourselves that engaging in any form of sexual activity with such people is actually deemed as unnatural.The picture below is actually one of the Queen Bees in the area. A couple of days back she was trying to stop our car because we were following them all around the carpark. Wahaha, don’t consider that as stalking ’cause we know that they are aware of our presence.

This tranny(below) is actually Double A’s favourite. It was a pity that he couldn’t join us yesterday due to some personal reasons (yea right). So I’ve decided to take a few close up shots for him. Don’t be fooled by the look on her face because those teeth in her mouth are actually rotting. Yes, as digusting as it may sound that lady needs a new tooth brush. Ah heck, she needs to visit the dentist. I guess all she needs is to practice good ORAL hygiene.

Here you’ll see tranny 2 and another tranny is some ‘business’ negotiation before a third tranny came along to enter the car.

I don’t know if you can see the third tranny in the picture below. But she did enter the car.

Now at least you know how the trannies move about in the car parks of Changi Village. You can thank me for imparting my knowledge to you.Now, pictures of the Abandoned Changi Commando Barracks. No words. Maybe a little.

This is light from another car not belonging to us. We drove 2 cars to the area that night. OCH was crowded, really crowded. Too many cars were entering its premises. When a place gets too commercialised, it tends to lose its appeal don’t you think?

These guys don’t belong to the Bondevia Crew. Look at that guy’s (long hair) gesture.

See the number of people in the barracks. We thought we were the only ones there.

No photo editing done to this picture. Look carefully you can actually see ORBS. Haha, stupid, those are just dust specs that got caught in the camera flash. SPI (the real SPI) is really stupid. They should be renamed to Stupid Pathetic Idiots.

And of course my dear crew. There are missing people though, Molomolo and Double A.

Posted in Old Changi Hospital, Paranormal, Sex | | 1 Comments

Sex Puppet Show

August 30th, 2006 by Jonathan

At some point of our lives, all of us would have seen shadow puppet shows like this. It could be on Television or on books and magazines and it could even be live.

Five ignorant little boys were in a car yesterday on our way to Seletar Reservoir Tower to investigate into the supernatural realm, but much to our disappointment, we didn’t see anything paranormal there.

Slackaroo, Molomolo, Jia Yong, Sing Hua and I were taken by surprise when we saw something that we shouldn’t see. Haha, yes a free puppet show. Ok, before I go on let me clarify something. We’re not voyeurs ok, we do not peep at people secretly, hiding at some corner taking pictures and videos of them changing or engaging in sexual acts like what happened to poor Gillian from Twins.

The couple having sex in the car is doing it in the open. In a brightly lit area without any discretion. It is not our fault that we stumbled on thier Mitsubishi love nest. Anyways, let me show you some pictures, then you’ll understand what I meant when I said ‘doing it in the open’.

Ok, for convenience sake I’ve did a print of how their positions could be like in the car.

The Driver’s seat was pushed all the way to the front. The passenger seat to the left of the driver’s seat is leveled to form a bed. This is just an assumption from what we saw. The girl is definitely on top and the guy is confirmed to be lying down. All this happening under a lamp post at the only round-about in the area.

Talk about being exhibitionist, ’cause most people having sex in the area are all parked at dark corners where nobody would usually notice, but these 2 horny monkeys had to do it openly, with the lampost at the back casting their shadows onto the misty windows of the car. IT WAS REALLY A SEX PUPPET SHOW!!

If pictures are not enough, here’s a video. You would notice a couple of fishermen (obviously illegal fishing) walking towards their car to peep at the horny love birds. And the couple did nothing at all!! It’s either they are in a really orgasmic state or they really don’t mind letting everyone who drives past the round about see them in their cute little mating ritual. Anyways, here’s the video. It’s really blur ’cause we’re really far and it’s really dark and I’ve zoom in to the max. So squint your eyes a little and watch the guy come up to suckle her boobies. Did I just say that? Ah, heck.

There are some couples who resort to pasting newspapers/plastic bag on their car windows to prevent people from seeing them engaging in any sexual acts. Here’s a tip on how to provide them with a little more entertainment. It only works if you have a car or if your friend has a car or if you and your friends drove there in a car, bondevia.

Turn on high beam and flash it on the windows with newspaper
Get someone to do the sound effects
While Another person do a puppet show by casting shadows on the newspaper

This will definitely spice up their sexual experience. Probably boosting their labido to a whole new level. Savvy?

Posted in Sex | | 1 Comments

Sex, the key to a long lasting relationship

May 12th, 2006 by Jonathan

I was doing my observations on a friend a couple of days ago. And I based it on my past experiences too and tada! I’ve derived with this little theory that Sex is the key to a long lasting relationship.

Ok, before I go on I would like to caution those who are below the age of 16 that having sex at your age is illegal. So don’t even think about it doing it. Haha.

You see, humans are very interactive creatures. If we’re deprived of any form of interaction we all go crazy. When we were kids we play with our friends in the playground, when we’re teenagers we play in the bedroom on the bed, when we’re adults we still play on the bed and when we’re old we play in the playground with our grand children again. The point is, WE NEED INTERACTION.

Naturally humans tend to get sick and tired of something, especially if that something has been around for a long time. For this case (in a male’s point of view) it is our girlfriends. Take a look at this graph that I have drafted for the purpose of this entry.

The X axis represents time while the Y axis represents the interest in your love ones. As you can see from Period 1 to period 2 (the initial stage of a relationship) the interest for a normal person on his lover is 100%. For some people this interest can go way above 100%, it’s usually called obsession which I am not addressing in this entry.

But after some time, this interest will slowly die off. For guys maybe because we have a very attractive (may not be physically attractive) female classmate around and for the girls the other way round. There are many factors actually, those that I’ve mentioned are only some of it.

How do you boost the interest of your lover? Have sex with him! Give him the greatest sex of his life! By doing so the both of you would be exploring the forbidden ground, getting to know each other better in the process, increasing the interest again to 100% or slightly lesser. But of course this interest will not last. Face it we are all humans, so in order to optimize your relationship, we must have sex on a regular basis. This will keep the interest levels on the average of 80 to 90%.

Thing is, sex if done too many times can become a little boring too. And that will cause a lost of interest again. So what can you do? Replace sex with something else. What you might ask? Well I’ll let your creative minds do the thinking.

Than what about love? Isn’t relationship suppose to be about love only? Yes, but who says in love you cannot have sex? Sex acts like a spice, to enhance the flavour of your food. True or not it’s up to you to agree with me. I always tell myself that not everyone can agree with the way I think. If everyone thinks alike there would be no Einstein, life would not be interesting anymore. Which brings me to the point of DIVERSITY.

The reason why life is so interesting is because of diversity. Same for sex, you can expect to have 1 type of sex all the time right? Try to change your positions every now and then. Go on the net, read the karma sutra, learn new tricks. You’ll make life more interesting that way.

Ok, fine. Love is not all about sex. But you still can have sex in love? Right? Spice up your love life today, sex it up!

PS: For those underaged readers who have read the entire entry, please replace every word of “Sex” with “homework”! Except for the following sentence:

Ok, before I go on I would like to caution those who are below the age of 16 that having sex at your age is illegal. So don’t even think about it doing it. Haha.

Posted in Sex | | 1 Comments

Exposed Tits in Schools

March 20th, 2006 by Jonathan

Is White considered a colour? ‘Cause if it is, than don’t you think girls should be allowed to wear bras to school?

Here’s the point, every uniformed school in Singapore doesn’t allow girls to wear coloured bras. When I was in Secondary school (I don’t know about it now), my discipline mistress always emphasized this regulation. BUT she didn’t say that white bras are allowed. Since white is also a colour, they are encouraging our girls NOT to wear bras at all.

It was only recently that I heard rumours of schools asking the girls to take off their coloured bras to have them being confiscated by the school. Which secondary school is implementing such policies? I’d definitely wanna retake my secondary education. The bra-less girls resort to holding files in front of them just to cover their tits. I mean, how can such stupid policies by implemented? Some school have bookshops that sells white bras too. So the girls could immediately get one after their kinki coloured ones are confiscated. That isn’t so bad right?

But I heard that there are some school that don’t sell bras at all and still confiscate coloured bras from their students. Well, personally I do not condone such policies.

If I ever rule the world and create my own rules. Girls can only wear 1 type of bras.

You better start praying that I don’t! Wahahaha!

Posted in Sex | | 0 Comments

Handphone Perverts

March 19th, 2006 by Jonathan

I was reading The Newpaper on Sunday just now and there was this 4 page article dedicated to ‘phone perverts‘ and ‘Bluejackers‘.

So what happens if you are a victim of a MRT phone pervert? Look, if you are on a crowded train and someone appears to be taking your pictures, the least you could do is get up and walk away or even alight the train and wait for the next. IF the person follows you, it is obvious that you are being stalked? Turn to the nearest person and tell them about it? Or head towards the control station and report that suspicious person. I know the person could have made his escape by the time you reach the control station, but reporting to the control station will definitely give you a higher sense of security.

One logical solution given by TNP was to take a picture of the voyeur. Yup, but I feel that the thing they forgot to add is to take the picture and bring it to the control station and ask them to make a police report. Don’t just sit there and do nothing about it.

The funny thing is, that ass hole went to the extend of squatting down in front of her to take snap shots of her chest and all she did was take a file to cover herself? What? What about the people around you? Ever heard of shouting for help? These people are seriously cowards by nature. Embarrass them and they’ll stop. Guess what, she didn’t file a police report. Good game.

Posted in Sex, General | | 0 Comments

The PUSSYcat Doll TITS

March 9th, 2006 by Jonathan

To be frank, I only think the lead singer of Pussycat Dolls is the only worth looking at. Best thing about it is that Nicole Sherzinger (the lead singer) is the one who does most of the singing. The rest of the pussy, cats, are just there to shake their booty and make some background noise. I hardly hear them sing at all. So why form a band when it is obviously better to go Solo? I mean the other pussy, cats, are just redundant.

They remind me of Destiny’s Child, where Beyonce gets most of the attention. But maybe because of Destiny’s fame, the situation wasn’t really that bad? Whereas for PCD, there has been a large number of people crying, begging them not to show the remaining band members.

But after today, everything is going to change. Finally some of the redundant band members have decided to do something and stand out. Sex sells in our society today, and since their faces don’t really make a right combination with the camera, they have decided to use other parts of their body.

Introducing The Pussycat Pussy

The Pussycat’s Tits

Ooh, those tits are nasty! They can compete with Bai Ling’s Mentos size Titties. Period.

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Sex | | 0 Comments

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