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I’m Back

September 29th, 2007 by Jonathan

Bondevia

Good Day fellow friends,

I am finally back from my 2 weeks confinement in Pulau Tekong. Love it or hate it I will be back every weekend from now onwards unless I have guard duty.

The thing I really hate most about staying on that island is the fact that I am being deprived of all the current affairs. I’m such a sucker when it comes to media and news so much so that halfway through my 2 weeks confinement I was already on the verge of going crazy.

Another thing about ‘doing time’ is that it depletes your level of vocabulary. Seriously I didn’t know what words to use to type this entry. And to be frank with you I felt weird using the keyboard.

(more…)

Posted in Uncle Bondevia | | 4 Comments

Take care, Uncle Jon Bon!

September 13th, 2007 by KayKay

A big thank you everyone for the immense support on our latest video production. We are really appreciative for all the comments, and look forward to producing better videos in future. The video, most importantly, was billed as Uncle Bondevia’s last big production since he is going to be serving the Nation tomorrow at 11.30am.

So over here, as I assume my position as Chief Editor in the absence of Jon, we would like to wish Jon all the best for his stint in Tekong! Don’t worry, myself, Melvin and Bobby will repay the faith you have shown in us over the past months. We will see you in 2 weeks!

P.S., comments are greatly appreciated. Let Jon know how much you guys will miss him

Posted in Uncle Bondevia, General | | 3 Comments

Letter from sweet Granny

July 10th, 2007 by Jonathan

Hello to the Bondevia Team!

Thank you so much for helping me to design some lovely stills for my blog! I truly love’em and would like to have more and more and more of them!

I am so sad that the hosting of my blog title flash has caused your website to clash and my manager has dropped the idea of having a flash becos finding a webhost costs MONEY!!!! Oh my, it’s so depressing….

….anyway, I would love to have more of your designs in my blog….how I wish I can have my blog title flash back…erm… Any webhost out there willing to sponsor me?

Laozhabor
laozhabor.blogspot.com

Posted in Uncle Bondevia | | 0 Comments

Uncle Bondevia: Guys with Girlfriends

June 24th, 2007 by Jonathan

It’s Uncle Bondevia time! We used to receive emails on a regular basis, but it died down after some time because nobody wants to talk to us anymore Hahaha. Just kidding! Keep the emails coming we will respect your confidentiality, if you request for it that is.

Hey Guys.

Let me first congratulate you on an excellent job for maintaining such a wonderful blog Having been your avid reader for the past 1 year, I thoroughly enjoy all your entries & the stories you have posted. Do keep up the great work & I hope the viewerships will continue to grow in many years to come.

Moving on, the purpose of my email is to pose this question to our gentlemen out there (including our Bondevia crew) & will appreciate that you share with all the ladies what are the telltales of an attached guy.

Take for instance a girl is keen on a guy whom she just got to know recently but to avoid asking him whether he has a girlfriend or not, are there any signs she can keep a look out for? I’m sure there are ladies out there who prefer to become friends with the guy they are interested in before they jump into a relationship. But at the same time wants to know whether he is ‘available’ or not.

Yup, I gonna end my email here & I look forward to your answers soon Thanks & Cheers!Rgds
KhiM KhiM
Dear Khim Khim,

Thank you for your email and your support! I just want to let you know how much this email means to me and I am really touched by your comments. Much appreciated

To answer your question, yes there are telltale signs that you can look out for in a guy to see if he is attached.

First, you frequently see him on the phone. Guys seldom talk to guys on the phone, even if they do, the way they speak is different. If it’s to a guy friend, they would appear to be loud and sometimes pretty ‘hostile’. But when they are talking to their girlfriends (or at least the girl they like), they tend to be a little more gentle sometimes mushy and flirty. Of course, there would be times when they quarrel also. Pay attention to words like “Why are you always like that?”, “You won’t understand how I feel”, “Of course I understand you” etc.

Second telltale sign would be frequent smses. Again, guys tend to send really short replies to their guy friends so the sms session wouldn’t last long. But when they sms a girl they like, you would most likely start to get annoyed by the sms ringtone and would probably see him smiling or laughing to himself. If you are a close friend of his, don’t be surprised if he asked you how to phrase himself or what to reply.

Third, Mr M.I.A (Missing in Action). Everytime there is an outing he would either not turn up or he would say that he will meet you guys in the later part of the day. It’s S.O.P, girlfriends always someway or somehow coincidentally ask them out on the same day.

Forth, this is really easy. FRIENDSTER. Haha, you can either see from his status (some guys do not put ‘In a relatisonship’) or you’d realised pictures of the same girl appearing frequently on his profile.

The Fifth telltale sign, which I don’t really feel is that accurate, when you see him online he takes really long to reply you because most of the time he is busy chatting with his girlfriend or he is on the phone with her. But of course when it comes to guys, they could always be playing DOTA, Football Manager or they are simply too popular and have too many people to chat with. Let’s not forget about cyber sex.

I am sure there are more telltale signs but these are just the common few. But there’s only one way to be 100% sure if the guy is attached or not and that is to ask him. I can understand that some of you girls are just too shy to ask. So here is a really corny way to find out if they guy is attached. Corny but foolproof method.

Get into a conversation and once you 2 get comfortable talking to each other…

Girl: oh, it’s near dinner time. Wanna join me for dinner?
Guy: Hmmm
Girl: Hehehe, your girlfriend don’t allow right?
Guy: No lah, I don’t have a girlfriend.

See! How easy!

Good luck to all of you girls out there looking for the right guy!! And remember this, I’m still single and available! Hahahaha

Posted in Uncle Bondevia | | 5 Comments

Bondevia- We Just Don’t Care

April 25th, 2007 by Jonathan

Seriously I am not the sort of person who would do this kinda stuff. Really, honestly and sincerely. I don’t know what’s got into me but… I’ve done it. And maybe it would be interesting to let you guys see it.

I got my iMac about a month ago, and ever since then my life has changed drastically. The addiction to film myself doing stupid things with the inbuilt camera is insatiable. I cannot stop it, and I cannot stop editing them too.

One fine day I remembered how Celeste (www.celestechen.com) frequently post her own home made MTVs on her website, so I’ve decided to mimick her. And I have to admit, filming your own MTV is way cooler than eating prata or mince pork noodles everynight.

Ladies and Gentlemen, in dedication to the countless wonderful videos brought to you by Celeste Chen. Here is a video Parody of John Legend’s “PDA, We Just Don’t Care“. Enjoy.

PS: PDA stands for Public Display of Affection. Kudos to Alvin Ong for enlightening me. Yes, I am that stupid. AND I AM NOT SISSY!!! I’M CELESTE CHEN, or at least pretending to be… Wahahaha

Posted in Uncle Bondevia, Funny | | 12 Comments

Uncle Bondevia

March 19th, 2007 by Jonathan

It’s been quite some times since I last received emails for the Uncle Bondevia column. WHERE ARE ALL THE EMAILS!!! Anyways, today’s email is basically about stress. Let’s see.

hi uncle bondevia, ive gt no idea y each time when my assessment is around e corner i feel so small and helpless..i dare to say im not a lazy person instead persistent.

i’m always workin v hard tryin my v best to score well which makes me fall sick during dis period..i never fail to feel yucky in e midst of assessment.

any idea y?

Enhpad (=

Well Enhpad,

I assume you are Daphne ’cause that what it says when I read your name backwards:) The only reason why I think you’re falling sick is because you’re putting too much pressure on yourself by having high expectations.

This will cause mental exhaustion which can in turn weaken your body’s immune system, allowing common germs and bacteria to infect you easily. Tada, probably explains why you’re falling sick so easily. Try to relax, don’t stress yourself out. The least you could do is lower your expectations and do your assignments accordingly. You don’t have to feel helpless cause help is always around the corner. I am sure your friends and family wouldn’t mind lending an extra hand so long as it is within their capabilities.

Relax and stay happy. Every body will experience stress sometime in their lives. I feel stressed too when I don’t have anything to blog about, or when I don’t have ANY EMAILS. Wahaha. That’s besides the point. What matters is that you take care of yourself, ’cause by falling sick you might pass it on to others around you too you know? Take care. Thanks for writing in.

Regards,

Bondevia

Posted in Uncle Bondevia | | 0 Comments

Bondevia T-Shirts

March 10th, 2007 by Jonathan

These are just prototypes. I really need to see the response from the public first (which happens to YOU, reading this article, hee)

Click the images to get a larger view.

Do give me feedback ok! Thank you very much.

Posted in News, Singapore, Uncle Bondevia, General | | 10 Comments

Uncle Bondevia

November 11th, 2006 by Jonathan

Dear Uncle Bondevia,

People always say that life is fair. You have your good points but you will also have your bad points. But why is it that I do not see anything good about myself? My family is falling apart, we’re sliding down the financial ladder so quickly that it’s starting to take its toll on my family.

We may appear to others as living really comfortably but behind the curtains we are squeezing every single penny just to survive.

My mum, she’s really depressed eventhough she appears to look strong and happy in front of us. I appear really happy in front of my friends too, but inside I am crying, screaming in pain.

I am plagued with problems so big, that confiding in someone has become a problem also. I need help, but I do not have the money to seek a shrink.

I respect the anonymity you give to your readers, but I was slightly deterred by your previous email reply as you sounded a little satirical.

My friends all seem to have perfect lives, the only problems they have are mostly revolving around their relationships. I’m struggling here, really I am and I can’t take it anymore.

Sometimes I look out of my apartment, down to the pool and begin to wonder what life would be like if I jumped down right at that instance. I really see no meaning in life anymore.

I feel like the biggest hypocrite to be smiling and laughing with my friends when I didn’t even mean to feel happy. I don’t have a girlfriend; neither do I have a best friend (not anymore). I’m just alone.

I told myself the other day; I have 2 paths laid before my eyes.

1) Grab every opportunity and succeed in life.
2) To end everything once and for all

The latter seems easier, and I see no point in continuing my life.

Sincerely
I hate my life

Dear I hate my life,

Your first point is really true, life is fair. Kid is always telling me that a person maybe be really handsome, has a really hot girlfriend and come from a rich family, but he would most probably have bad body odor or breath or maybe warts growing in his anus. God knows what is happening under their clothes. So friend, we cannot, in fact we shouldn’t compare the magnitude of our problems with others because firstly nobody is completely honest about all of their problems and also by comparing we are only going to make our lives more difficult.

Every mum, I believe would want to appear strong in front of her kids. I mean if there is a problem within the family and the mother (sometimes the dad) starts crying and wailing like a baby, who are the kids going to find comfort in? Am I right? All mothers want the best for their children.

Don’t worry about the magnitude of the problem, when you need to let it out just let it out. It’s pretty unhealthy to bottle everything up. Take this for example.

Your life is like a bottle. Your problems are kerosene. The more you bottle your problems the more kerosene you contain and all you need is just one spark to blow you up. Don’t bottle your problems, pour out your kerosene.

I am honored that you’ve actually confided in me, not to worry I will keep your identity anonymous. The reason why I was so sarcastic to the previous sender was because my intuition tells me that the email wasn’t genuine. But I do not have any evidence to claim that it was a fraud email so I answered his question but in a very satirical/sarcastic manner. Hope I didn’t scare you.

Ending your life is an easy way out, that I have to agree, but out to where? You’re only leaving behind a trail of problems for your family, friends and dogs. I mean who’s going to feed them, love them and play with them? Ok, I am digressing, god know you don’t even have a dog. What I am saying is you think you found your solution to your problems by committing suicide, but you are actually being selfish to the people who care about you.

Dude, I came from a higher middle-class family. But we have fallen down the financial ladder also. I’ve never taken a lift to go home all my life, now I have to. But it’s through experience like these that makes us humble, and you’re not alone, because through it all your family has fallen with you. And it is with your family that you slowly start to rebuild your happiness again.

Don’t be sad, life must go on. Grab every opportunity you can now because you only have one life to do it.

_________________________________

It’s really funny, cause the other day I was just talking to Azaleas about my problems and how the happiest people around are usually those with bigger problems in life. Take Mr Bean for example, that joker is actually depressed. Rowan Atkinson.

Posted in Uncle Bondevia | | 1 Comments

Uncle Bondevia

October 15th, 2006 by Jonathan

Dear bondeviaIs masturbation bad? I think I am addicted to it and can do up to 8 times a day. Do you masturbate? Can you advice me how to stop it?

iluveating_84@______.com

Dear iluveating,

Before I move on to the topic about masturbation, let me just clarify some of my thoughts. USUALLY when numbers are included in an email address, it would represent the year of birth of the person, am I right? Unless it’s a number of another significance. So naturally when I see 84 in your email add, I’d assume that you are like 3 years older than me? 22 years old and you still have masturbation problems?

If you are not 22 (not that I am saying you are), you can ignore the above message and let Uncle Bondevia, or if I should say Big Brother Bondevia teach you a lesson about masturbation.

It is natural for most guys to stick their hands down their pants to feel pleasure at some point of their lives, so I hope that answers your question on ‘Do you masturbate?’

Masturbation is not bad, it’s nature’s way of rewarding you with pleasure and satisfaction. For boys, we produce millions of soldiers everyday, THEY HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE. They can’t stay in your balls forever, it would probably expand like a balloon and burst. So there are 2 ways of releasing the unused soldiers.

Nocturnal Emission

Masturbation

If you do not masturbate, you’ll have wet dreams, maybe you just dont realise it. But I can place my bet that it’s a near 100% that you don’t have wet dreams because you masturbate like 8 times a day?

Masturbation is OK, but doing it too many times in a day and getting addicted can be a problem. Maybe all you need is a little time out with friends, go take up a sport or a hobby to occupy your free time. 8 times in a day would actually mean that you hardly go out at all, cause your testicles would need time to replenish sperm and your glands would need time to produce the semen. You can’t possibly wank 8 times all at 1 go. Besides, 8 times in a day is good enough to give you blue balls.

Dude, you need rest. But it is best that you seek help from a doctor. No pun intended but sometimes these things can be psychological. 8 times in 1 day? I suggest you listen to me man, see a shrink.

I hope what I said is useful.

Regards,
Bondevia

Need advise? OR just wanna voice out and take a stand? Wanna tell us the latest stories?

No hassle.

Click here now!

Posted in Uncle Bondevia | | 1 Comments

Bondevia Show Ep 2: 4 Days in Hong Kong

August 1st, 2006 by Jonathan

Haha, as promised, the Hong Kong Video is out.

Well, you will really have to know me or the people in it to feel like you understand this episode though, it’s made to cater to my presentation which so happens to be on this Friday.

What ever it is, if you wanna know what software I used to produce the entire thing. It’s a mixture of Macromedia Flash and simple Windows Movie maker. Wonders of technology huh? Not exactly a very impressive video either, but for entertainment purposes, enjoy.

PS: I will not be uploading the HK pictures anymore, cos most of them are in the video.

Posted in Uncle Bondevia, General | | 0 Comments

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Recent Updates

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I’m Back

Take care, Uncle Jon Bon!

Letter from sweet Granny

Uncle Bondevia: Guys with Girlfriends

Bondevia- We Just Don’t Care

Uncle Bondevia

Bondevia T-Shirts

Uncle Bondevia

Uncle Bondevia

Bondevia Show Ep 2: 4 Days in Hong Kong

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